Friday, 15 May 2009


Everyone always tells me how much they love my little 'train stories' that are told through facebook statuses, or twitter. So tonight I thought I'd talk about the things that piss me off the most on public transport.
For those of you who don't know - my job is in the city. And it's about an hour and a bit train trip each way so I spend about 2.5 - 3 hours of my day on either a bus or a train.
I've been doing this for almost 2 years now so I'm pretty used to it, but there are just some things that still piss me off enough to want to actually hurt someone.

1. People who talk loudly on their mobile phones:
okay, I may have been guilty of this a few times - although I am very softly spoken and I will usually cut the person off and get them to call me back later. Because seriously, noone needs to hear about what you ate for dinner last night, who you shacked up with on the weekend, or what you want to do to your girlfriend when you get home.

2. Serial Fidgeters:
usually the train gets pretty packed during peak hour, and you're guaranteed to have someone right next to you. So there's nothing worse than when they start getting fidgety as fuck. SIT STILL. And please try not to elbow me in the boob.

3. Girls Putting Their Makeup On, While On The Train:
it just shits me. I sat on the train one morning and watched a girl spend no less than about 35 minutes putting her face on. It was almost like watching an extreme makeover happen before my eyes. Fug to Hot in 35 mins.
Honestly ladies - either put it on before you leave the house - or wait until you're off the train. This also extends to filing your nails on the train. The sound is horrible. Just don't!

4. People Who Play Their Obnoxious Music Through The Speaker of Their Phone:
pretty self explanatory this one. Usually idiotic bogans who are the most guilty of this crime. Hey guys - a hot tip for you. Noone wants to hear your shithouse gangster rap at 7am in the morning so just piss off :]

5. Inappropriate Behaviour:
now with this one I think I may need to elaborate. Here's a little hint of things that are NOT appropriate on public transport.
- dry humping your other half or talking dirty to them in a loud voice.
- cutting your fingernails and leaving the clippings on the floor of the carriage.
- squeezing zits on the back of your boyfriend's neck.
- watching porn on your laptop.
- spitting on the train floor.
- running through the carriage like an elephant.
- taking pictures of girls on your mobile phone like a dirty pervert.
and YES i have experienced all of these things. Some people really have no shame. Oh and PLEASE if you have children - don't take them on the train if they're likely to throw screaming tantrums that last an hour.

I swear I'm not a grumpy commuter. Not even a little bit. :]

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