115.

It's been a strange half a week this week. To start with.. today is my 24th birthday. Happy birthday to me!
This week, I kind of made a resolution to have a drama free week.. so far so good. It's been a little bit strange, because quite a few of my work friends finished up last friday. And to be honest.. I miss my little 'crew' .. it's going to be totally strange without the daily conversations on office messenger, and seeing them every day. Although they do say a change is as good as a holiday.. (i need a holiday).

Last week, was.. just .. I don't even know where to begin to explain it.
Except that.. when I make a mess of things - I certainly don't do it halfheartedly. Well it turns out that I didn't really make a mess of things.
Confusing much..
I can only think of how to explain it in a really cryptic way...
I pretty much just freaked out hardcore on someone.. in my usual insecure way. And I almost just gave up on them. I don't even know why. I just know that sometimes I get scared if everything isn't clear cut. The unknown can be really daunting for me, I guess just because it hasn't really ever worked in my favour.
I can be really quite silly at times..
I am just glad that I didn't totally fuck up. And I'm learning that the unknown isn't such a bad thing, as long as I just remember to relax and stop being a moron.

I'm really looking forward to Friday, catching up with some people I haven't seen for awhile, and just having all the people I adore together is going to be amazing, and just what I need.