Monday 10 January 2011

161.

It's pretty crazy how quickly the end of last year passed, and to think that it's already into the second week of the new year.
It's hard in a way to look back on 2010.
It was a year that was harder than most, though to a lot of people in my life - it might not have seemed that way.
Sometimes things happen, things that are deeply personal and while I always try to be as honest and open as possible in this blog, sometimes things are really too close to my heart for me to share here.
Last year changed me. Forever.
It made me step back and really take a look at how I was living my life, and the things that I was doing. It made me reassess my goals and question everything that I believed in.
I have learnt how to be stronger, because I had no other choice.
I have learnt who I can and cannot trust, and I learnt that lesson the hard way, believe me.
I made mistakes last year, quite a lot. And I had my heart broken, a few times.
But, last year - I learned what it was like to feel as if I could fall in love again, and that's something that is extremely precious to me.

I don't know what I would have done without my amazing friends, as always. My true friends are like precious gems, and I would not give them up for anything in the world.

Peter: We always talk about how crazy it is that we have only known each other for less than a year - yet we had this instant, strong connection. You are my bff. And us much as I give you shit, and pay out on you, you know that I wouldn't have been able to get through last year without you. You're an amazing person, and if people can't see that then they are stupid. :) Thanks for kicking my arse when I was in 'poor me' mode, and the many drunken train rides home together. Mostly thanks for always being there when I needed someone to talk to, and for always listening and giving me an honest opinion even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear sometimes.

Maya: I have really loved the fact that we've gotten to be closer friends the last year. And I've enjoyed getting to know you more, and seeing you more often.You're great to have a girly chat with you, and I love that we can relate to each other on a lot of things. Your own personal journey last year has been inspiring to watch, and I'm really proud of you and mostly glad you're happy. Seeing you set goals and them slam them has motivated me to set goals for myself. You're an awesome girl. #ivegotgoals

Jarrod: Ah, my favourite gig buddy! It was so awesome getting to see many great bands with you last year, and having some epic crunk times too. You're always one of my most favourite people to hang out with. I love your attitude to life, and the fact that you are always straight up with me. I'm so glad that you have opened up and fallen in love again, so so happy for you. You really are someone who deserves true happiness and I hope that you find it. Just promise me that if you move to America that you'll come back and visit from time to time! :P

Alex: What can I say? You're one of those rare people who I know would never judge me no matter how stupid I act, or no matter what I do. You're the kind of friend who is a friend for life. I love that about you. I feel like you're one person that I can trust with my everything. I know the last year was hard for you, and I admire how strong you are. And the fact that even when things are tough you never let it change your outlook on life. I'm so lucky to have you as a friend :)

Johnny: I like to think of you as my partner in crime. Instead of acting disapproving when I want to muck up, you freely encourage it and come along for the ride! Sometimes I think you might feel as though certain people don't take you seriously and see you as just this party guy, but I know there is so much more to you than that. You're a wise guy, and a true friend. Who else would be willing to sacrifice themselves in order to be my 'wingman' :P

Anita: I feel like we've become better friends in the second part of last year. I love your brutal honesty, and the fact that I can bitch about stuff to you and most of the time we have exactly the same opinion on things. You're one of the coolest girls I know, because you're not a drama queen, and you don't take shit from anyone. I don't know how I'd get through some work day without our little IM chats.

So many other people have really had impacts on my life in the last year, but I would be here forever trying to mention you all.
Some of you taught me about friendship, real friendship.
And some of you taught me what a friendship should not be like.
It's sad to lose a friend simply for the fact that they seem to value their relationship more than a friendship. But. That's life.

I'm not sure what 2011 will hold for me. But I know that I want to be better.
I have started doing Project 365. I'm going to take a photo for every single day of 2011.
I'm going to try and push myself to do things that I've been too scared to do.
I am going to try and be more sensible with my money and to really save.
I want to get fit, and continue my goals for self-improvement.
It would be nice to have a year that is a little less complicated than the last.
But whatever life decides to throw at me this year, bring it on!

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