Monday, 8 October 2007

06.

Why the eff do males have to be so confusing?
Honestly. I think I spend half my life worrying about males and their stupid moods.
I have a boyfriend who hasn't contacted me in about three days now, and fuck knows why that is..Am I meant to keep calling and texting when I get no reply?
Gahh, I shouldn't rant like this, but I'm finding things really hard at the moment. I'm sick of feeling like I'm the person who has to run around making efforts all the time. Because honestly I think that with a lot of people in my life - if I didn't make an effort then I wouldn't hear from them.

I know that with some people I've been distant lately. But I've been working my arse off at work trying to prove that I really wanted this permanent role. Some people are just petty and want to tell me off because I've been busy. Well. If people were true friends they would care that I'm trying to build a career for myself after lagging behind for so long.

Maybe its immature to use my blog to have digs at people, but - if you know me, then you know I'm not the kind of person to make a fuss about things. I usually tend to keep stuff to myself and just shut up about things. I guess this is where I can air things out without having to deal with the confrontation.
I just feel like things are going nowhere. I'm in a rut in the relationship side of my life. I'm too apathetic to do anything about it.. I'm just happy to keep going along with the way things are but I know that deep down eventually I'm going to have to make a decision, or things are going to have to change.

I just feel like a big ball of stress and angst at the moment and I hate it. I'm 22 years old. I have a great job. I should be happy and having fun. Not spending my time stressing out and writing long annoyingly ranty blog entries.

Bring on the weekend and party time with my girlies. I misses them loads! <3

2 comments:

Matt said...

awww emmz, everything will work out :) i promise

KARINA said...

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE PPL IN YOUR LIFE THAT AREN'T GOING TO MAKE AS MUCH EFFORT AS YOU MAKE.
AND YOU ARE RIGHT - YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY... DON'T LET OTHER PPL GET YOU DOWN!
I HOPE YOU ARE OK AND JUST REMEMBER THAT IF HE DOESN'T SUPPORT WHAT YOUR DOING U DONT WANNA BE WITH HIM ANYWAYS =)