156.

Its funny how sometimes in life, you get an idea of what things 'should' be like based on your previous experiences and the people around you.

How many things in life do we miss out on, because they are not 'right' or they are not the way that things 'should' be?

Is this an easy way out?
A way to go through life living the safe way and not ever taking any risks?
I don't want to live my life that way anymore.
I don't want to settle for what I 'should' have.

I want a life that surprises me every day, I want to do things that challenge me and make me look at the world in a different way, in a way that makes me appreciate the magic that seems to be so lost on a lot of people.

I should be in a steady relationship, engaged, or married, or possibly even have children.
I should be living out of home, or on my way to buying my own home. I should be sensible and save for the future. I should have gone to university. I should be thinner, I should be healthier and I should know where I want to be in ten years time.

I'm not in a steady relationship, I don't really know where I stand with a particular person.
I spend money on cute clothes, shoes, makeup, and girly things, amazing music, and things that make me feel good. I go out most weekends. I have tattoos on my body that will never go away.
I go to concerts and I dance my arse off. I go to bars or pubs with my friends and drink far too much. I'm not thin, nor am I the poster girl for healthy living. I'm silly, I'm irresponsible sometimes, and lazy. I don't know where I want to be in ten years time. I spend a lot of time dreaming about things that may not ever happen. I'm messy. I'm imperfect.

But I have met someone who makes me think, who challenges me and who makes me smile constantly and who makes me feel like I'm the most amazing person in the universe. I have had some of the best nights of my life with my friends, I have met some people I'll never forget.
I'm still not super thin, but I have never loved my body more.
I'm not exactly healthy, but I enjoy my indulgences.
I don't know where I will be in ten years. But I plan to have fun finding out.
I love the fact that life always has a surprise in store for me.
I'm not perfect by any means.
But I am my own person, and I live life on my own terms.
And I've never felt so ALIVE.