Sunday, 14 August 2011


When I really think about it, I can understand why jealousy is often known as the 'green-eyed monster'.
Some people seem to let themselves be totally and utterly consumed by jealousy, it steals their soul, and turns them into a person that they would never otherwise be.

One of the most frustrating situations to be in, is that of spending time with a jealous couple.
Hands down the most maddening thing ever.
I personally don't really understand jealousy in relationships. Maybe I've just been lucky that my relationship is amazing, and I've never really felt that jealous feeling.
I don't understand how people can be together, and then fight because their partner has spoken to someone else, or gets hit on by someone or any of those things.
The other thing I can't really understand is when people get cranky or jealous over an ex of their current partner.

If you're really in a stable and committed relationship, honestly jealousy shouldn't even come into it.
If both people in the relationship are giving everything to the relationship, then the other person shouldn't ever feel insecure or worried about their partner straying.
Isn't the point of being with someone that you trust them completely? Why would you be with them otherwise?
I don't buy this bullshit of - 'Oh I love him/her but I just don't totally trust them'
Because - how can you love without trust?

To me love is not a fleeting feeling. It is something that builds up over time, it needs to grow.
It's like a flower.
You have to plant the seed first. But a seed can't grow without time and care.
You have to nurture it, and give it attention, and care for it, so that eventually it will grow into something beautiful and amazing.

The other part that I seem to notice with relationship jealousy, is this constant worry about people's ex-boyfriends or girlfriends or even just ex-hookups or ex-whatevers.

Again to me, I don't really understand this concept.
I mean, just the term ex. Think about it. An ex is a FORMER lover/partner/girlfriend/boyfriend.
Former - as in, no longer.
They are no longer in the picture, so why would you worry about it?
Most break-ups happen for a reason. Most of the time there is a reason why that person is no longer in your partner's life.

At a certain stage in life, it's very likely that most people you meet will have an 'ex' something.
Everybody has a past. You can't change that.
So why would you let someone's past, fuck with your future?

The other kind of jealousy that I seem to notice a lot in my life, is the kind of jealousy that comes with wanting what somebody else has.
I call it the 'I wish' syndrome.
I wish I had her legs, I wish I had that car, I wish I was thinner, I wish I could sing like that.
You could really wish your life away thinking this way.
Why is it that we can't ever seem to be happy with what we have? I'm all for having goals and aiming high but there's a big difference between striving for something that you really want, and just sitting there expecting it to come to you, and hating the world when it doesn't.
If you want those legs, if you want that car. WORK for it.
You can't sit back and hate on everyone for the rest of your life because they have something you don't.

I'm not saying that I've never felt jealous. Of course I have. It's a natural human emotion.
I guess the real point I'm trying to make is that jealousy is something you need to keep tabs on. 
Just like any 'monster' - you need to tame the wild beast to get it under control.

Don't let irrational thoughts or fears dictate your life.
Don't let it ruin your relationships.

Tame the green-eyed monster for good!

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