Today I'm pondering relationships.
An ex boyfriend of mine once said (although not directly to my face) that I was going to be lonely for a very long time, because I expect perfection.
I thought about this for a long time, and I realised that it was a completely stupid thing to say. Because, I mean.. what is perfect? There is no definition of perfection.
I doubt that any person in the world could tell you what traits a perfect person has, because everyone has different ideas of what they like or dislike.
And besides that point, if someone was perfect - they would be boring. As much as we might hate to admit it, people need flaws. Flaws keep life interesting, conflict does also.
I don't think that having an idea of what you want out of a relationship, and not settling for anything less than that is expecting perfection.
I don't know about anyone else, but for me personally, I don't see the point in being with someone unless you have that heart crushing, mind consuming, attraction.
I am a big believer in the spark. You need to be able to banter with someone, challenge each other, have your own opinions, yet at the same time complement each others personalities.
Relationships are meant to be a partnership, two people who are so fucking into each other that they don't care what the rest of the world thinks.
I really hate the concept of one person being better than the other one.
Like, 'oh you can do so much better, you're out of my league' etc.
Who decides what makes someone 'good enough' for another person?
Is it looks? Status? Personality?
And what gives other people the right to judge this?
Shouldn't it just be, that both people are happy?
Isn't that the thing that should matter?
I remember on an internet dating site once, I read a guy's profile and it said something to the effect of: 'if my friends ask we will have to lie about where we met'.
That's another thing that I don't really get, I mean to start with if you're ashamed of meeting someone over the internet then why are you there in the first place?
Why would you want to have a relationship where you lie to everyone about how you met, and totally kill the cute story of how you came to meet, and fall for each other?
So many people use the internet these days, and yes there are always the horror stories but sometimes you might just meet someone who you never would have come to known otherwise due to different lifestyles, distance, or just life in general.
I think that far too many people let all these different factors prevent them from being really happy with someone.
Would you rather go through life, not meeting people because you care too much about whether your friends or family would think?
Or not meeting people because they have a lower or higher paying job than you do?
Is it your mum, dad, best friend, workmate, anyone else that is going to date the person? No, it's you.
Are we really so afraid of what the world thinks, so afraid that we would let that get in the way of finding someone who makes you smile like crazy, someone that makes your world just that little bit brighter, someone who makes you feel like you're worth a million dollars?
All that should matter are the two people involved.
And if we are really good people, we would keep that in mind for the people in our life too. Your friend might date someone who isn't a supermodel, someone who works a really shitty job, someone who has the fashion sense of Kramer from Seinfeld.
But when you see them together, they just look so freaking happy.
That's all that should matters. If you care about someone all that you should want is for them to be happy. And as long as they are happy, who are we to judge?
There's an anonymous quote that I found that I think is something that we would all be wise to take notice of.
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
I don't expect perfection. But I do expect that if I'm going to be with someone, that it's going to be something that makes me feel amazing.
Isn't that all that matters?